Fr. Lawrence Jagdfeld, O.F.M., Administrator
The Messianic oracles of Isaiah turn to the issue of physical disability today, with special attention paid to the plight of the blind. Like any disability, no one understands what it means to carry this cross unless he/she has experienced it firsthand. However, the sacred author speaks of the darkness that is imposed upon the blind as doom and gloom. I believe that the writer is drawing upon the experience of spiritual blindness when he describes it in these terms.
Throughout the Hebrew Scriptures, God is referred to as "light." Psalm 27, which is used as the response to today's first reading, is perhaps the best known such reference. "The Lord is my light and salvation." This psalm is ascribed to King David. One can imagine him praying these words as the armies of Saul pursue and harass him. His life is in danger because of Saul's murderous intentions. David reflects upon God, his light, and asks the question: "Of whom should I be afraid?"
Those of us who suffer disability know a little of the fear that accompanies that situation. I remember well the day that my inner ear infection was diagnosed, and the doctor prepared me for the worst. When I spoke to my spiritual director about how I felt upon learning of my disability, I spoke of the fear of being cut off from all the people I love. He wisely counseled me to own up to that fear, to accept it as a reality in my life, to tell God how fearful I was. I had been, as is often the case, trying to put on a brave face. I thought that it would be best to overcome the fear by ignoring it. He disagreed. Only when I was willing to accept who I was in my fears would I be able to work through them. Otherwise I would constantly be afraid.
Today I have completely lost the hearing in my right ear. There are those occasions when I miss something because of this disability. However, I have come to realize that Jesus has opened up ears of faith that have helped me through the physical hearing impairment. I am sure there are many CUSANS who will tell you the same.